I'm definately not enjoying the gloomy weather lately, which probably isn't a good thing considering we have a long gloomy winter ahead. If the weather continues to reflect my mood, you are looking at a lifetime of dark skies and thunder storms. Too much is going on right now, I can't really think of anything creative to say. I should try to sit down and write some poems soon, because I haven't really been creative in awhile. I've been too tired to be creative. My FM is really getting me down lately, which I'm kind of ashamed to admit because I don't like to let my FM win. But it's been hard to be positive lately. I have a group of friends falling apart because of some stupid boy. I guess that's a tale that's been told a million times. I just can't afford to lose friends right now. My heart's already fractured, the strain of this could break me completely. They don't offer casts for a broken heart either, so I'm not really sure how it's supposed to heal. You can't keep your heart on bed rest...you can't stop yourself from feeling. You can try. Lord knows I have. Pills and dreams of death are not unknown to me. I haven't sunk that low yet, but I can feel myself struggling against a downward current. To top off my wonderful mood, I am still feeling sick. I'm afraid that the fall out is coming, and when it does it will be ugly. So you've been warned. If you want happy and cheery I suggest you stay away from me. Which I wouldn't blame you for, everyone leaves me eventually. I'm too much to handle. "A Burden" as I've been called.
On the positive side I have an addiction to SVU lately. I've always liked the show, and now that I can watch all the seasons on netflix, I've been averaging two or three episodes a day. Which isn't so good for my school life, but I enjoy it anyways. I also have my new Ellen Hopkins book...which so far is amazing as usual. So between the two maybe I can keep from breaking for a little while.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Becca,
ReplyDeletethis is a great post. First of all, Im so thankful to find someone that shares the same love that I have for SVU. :) I admit when I first got into that show it worried me a little bit.... they are really intense! Im pretty sure there are other things I could be watching... but really, those shows are dang awesome.
And second, thanks for the perspective. There really isnt a cast for a broken heart. I promise you that Ive been praying everyday this week for one. I dont know why God makes our live the way he does, but honey... I wish you the best in life. I really honestly and truely do. I love you Becca and think you are a wonderful person. You deserve to have your dreams come true.