The Joys of Pneumonia

Today was not an easy day for me. It was one of those days where my terrible habit to beat myself up about things started to get out of control. I'm sick right now, I have pneumonia. It's pretty much the crappiest I've felt in a long time. Not only am I sick, but add RSD and FM flair ups to the mix and you have one miserable Rebecca. A miserable Becca that couldn't get out of bed, couldn't make it to classes, couldn't even do hw. All I did all day was sleep. I didn't even eat, just slept non stop. When I finally did wake up at eight this afternoon, I felt like such a failure. An unproductive, stupid failure. So I read a chapter in Helping Skills, and that made me feel a little less worthless. Then I decided I really wanted to watch medium. So I found an episode online, curled up with a blanket, and watched the very first episode. I guess it's strange for me to spend my evening that way when I was already mad at myself for being unproductive, but a friend finally knocked some sense into me. She pointed out that if I don't take care of myself, I could end up hospitalized, because pneumonia can get pretty serious. So, I have to decide if I want to keep pushing myself and not letting my body heal, risking hospitalization and more missed school, or if I want to let myself relax, miss a few classes, fight off the fever, and just let myself sleep. I guess I'm starting to see that maybe taking care of my body is a little more important than school.