Trust

You don't like
my smile
you criticize
my hair
my clothes
my make-up
I'm never right
for you
I'm hard to handle
my emotions are
too much
you started out
claiming
that you really cared
you didn't think
I was broken
I wasn't your project
wasn't someone to fix
but the pieces
I trusted
you to hold in your hand
you crushed
you destroyed
you told all your friends
so now all my secrets
are scattered in the wind
I am hurt
my trust is broken
you promised
not to hurt me
now I see that was
a lie
so despite your
attempt at friendship
now I must say goodbye
sure you try to tell me
this doesn't have to be
the end
but you cannot be
friends
if you cannot
trust
and if I can't be myself
then this friendship
is fruitless

Being me

Who exactly
do you think you are
that you believe
you have a right
to judge
to hate
to demand I prove myself
who are you to me
that I should
care so much
what you think of me
that I paste
on a smile
and hide my true self
in hopes
that you
may finally accept me
it gets lonely
being the outcast
always on the sidelines
sitting alone
but lately I've realized
the saddest place to be
is a place where I'm never
actually free
to be me

Again, don't know what to call it

My soul is opaque
What should be a window
Is dirtied with sin
Blackened by hate

Resentment and jealousy
Take over my life
Hating the edgy
Hating the proud
Hating the people
Who turned my life
Upside down
Jesus tries to touch me
The Neosporin of the heart
Trying to bandage wounds
That are infected
With rage
God tries to
Calm my mind
Which is racing with doubts
To raise me up
Dust me off
And place me
On my feet
Down the path
Of hope and healing
Where I can forget my past
Forget my pain
And finally
yes finally
I’ll be free
At last

Abstract

Why can no one understand me?
I’m really not abstract
I have a heart
I have a soul
My life has meaning
I have a goal
I hope to be successful
In everything I do
And to be compassionate
To anyone
My life touches
I hope to be seen
As loving
An image of Christ
Caring
And giving
All of my life

Breeze

In the clear of the morning
The sun’s bright rays
Paint the sky pink
As a bird in the distance
Sings a song to me
The breeze tickles my
Face
And plays with my hair
Shakes hands with the trees
Stirs the grass
And causes the chimes
To play a melody
(I never did figure out how to end this one)

Crushed

My memories are something
Too scary to face
A rope around my neck
Pulling me in
Judgement clouded
By past regrets
Constantly remembering
All the dumb mistakes
I’ve made
I shutter in shame
Hating where I’ve been
Wondering why
By now
I haven’t learned
To be cautious
About the people
I trust
With the depths of my heart
But you said you loved me
You said you cared
So foolishly I trusted
I gave you pieces of me
I can never get back
You greedily took
Leaving me empty
Discarding me
As soon as my
Friendship
No longer benefited
You
So here I am
Stranded
In a field of heartache
Left to pick up the pieces
You so heartlessly
Scattered
Feeling as though
My whole world has shattered

Taken

You were taken from me
The cruel grasps of death
Stole my only love
I’m left behind
Bewildered
Trying to understand
Why you were taken
So soon
I cry out to God
As my friends offer comfort
But their words come out
Empty
And god never replies
So I lie in the darkness
As tears pour
From my eyes
Trying to understand
The depths of my fears
Trying to find
Sense through my tears
Without you around
My heart
Slows
I begin to think
That I’d like
To join you
But a small voice inside
Tells me I can’t
So I stay behind
Trying to believe
That one day
I’ll find out
You saved a place for me

? I never know what to name my poems

Hair whipping in the wind
Every which way
The chill of the night
Biting at my cheeks
Under the glow of the moon
I feel vivacious and free
Living for the moment
Forgetting my worries
Trying to drive a distance
Between me and my past
Regardless of miles
I can’t quite escape
But the kiss of the night
Makes me feel as though
I’ve broken away
Spirited
Strong
Beautiful
And free
Content for a moment
Just to be me