I am frustrated. At what I'm not entirely sure, I just know that there is this restless agitation within me, and if I don't figure out how to release it soon, I will most likely explode on someone soon. I'm already reaching my breaking point, easily snapping at people and growing angry over nothing. I'm so annoyed that I can't escape immaturity. The way I see some of the camp staff behave just makes me want to roll my eyes, or scream, or both. I just don't get why people can't grow up. Move past the silly games, be quiet when you're told.
I'm tired. Emotionally and physically. This whole thing is so much harder than I imagined it would be, and I was already imagining the worst. I just don't feel like I fit here. There are staff members here that come back year after year for whatever reason, and they are so incredibly loved. I want to be loved like that. I want to be someone at camp that people actually love seeing, but it hasn't happened yet and with my personality it most likely never will.
I'm so glad we're already halfway done. I want to go home. Home sucks, but right now I'd much rather be there than here. I'm just wanting to let go. Let go of the progress I've made, let go of hope, and just sink way down deep. Close my eyes never to be opened again. Escape this cruel thing called life. I don't know how I'll survive another weekend alone in this ghost town either.
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