Christmas

Well it's officially Christmas. Can't believe it's already here. Seems like this semester flew by, and for some reason it just hasn't been feeling like the Christmas season this year. I know that Christmas is supposed to be a joyful day, celebrating Christ's birth and all that. But, sometimes it's hard to find that joy or see it for what it is truly meant to be. This season should be full of giving and love. Although really, why just one season? Why just one month? Why just one day? Shouldn't we rejoice in what Christ did for us every day? Shouldn't we spend time with family and give out of love every day we exist? Seems to me we should, even though I know many of us don't. I'm not claiming to be perfect, I certainly don't marvel in what Christ did for me on a daily basis. But, it seems to me something needs to change. Honestly, I have no problem with kids believing in Santa, and looking forward to presents under the tree. I have no problem with the fact that kids often think of presents and trees with colorful lights when they think Christmas. I honestly doubt Christ has any opinion one way or another about letting kids believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, and all the other wonderful characters of childhood. It's fun and exciting and it lets them be kids. I don't think Christ expects us to be any more holy, or focus on him in some special way on Christmas. I think he wants that love from us always. I think he'd like us to stop bashing people for turning Christmas into a commercial holiday and instead find a way to use that to reach people. I don't entirely know what needs to change about Christmas, I just know that the fact that depression and suicide rates rise during the Christmas season is a sign that something is seriously wrong with the atmosphere we create during the holiday seasons. It is supposed to be a day of celebrating life, not ending it.

That said, I am glad it's Christmas. I look forward to a day with my family. To be honest there wasn't anything in particular I wanted this Christmas, I'm just happy that my Aunt and Grandma whom I haven't seen in four years are here with us this year. I look forward to the joy I see on Katie and Courtney's face as they marvel that Santa came and left goodies under the tree and in the stockings. To see Courtney's face light up, and to actually sit down with my family and enjoy a warm home cooked meal.

I think that's why this year hasn't felt like Christmas. Everything's been rushed. My mom's been sick and life's been hectic. We didn't make cookies from scratch, decorating the tree was crammed between events, my mom made the happy birthday cake while we were gone when we normally do it as a family, and I didn't finish wrapping presents until last night. I think what I needed was that time where things slow down, and you just enjoy the simple things. If only I could capture the joy my older sister holds in every event life presents before her. I know she can be frustrating as heck, and it's hard having an older sister that will never be able to truly be an older sister. I feel bad, I know I don't treat her with as much love as I should sometimes, and I let my temper get the better of me. But really, she has the heart and mind of a child, and I would like to capture that for a day.

So, I welcome Christmas. I wish a joyous day to all around me. But I also pray we can learn to capture the spirit we try to create during this season, and keep it throughout the year. Better yet, I pray we wouldn't have to try so hard to create this season, that it would just be natural to us to remember, praise, give, and love.