Future

I think it would be nice....if next year never came
too many unknowns
too many things I'm scared of
I don't know where I'll live
or who I'll live with
or how I'll survive without marlaina
and a wing full of girls to spend time with
i doubt anyone will ever visit me
I see me spending all my time alone
the loser as always
the invisible one


As hard as it may be to believe, I have actually been feeling alot better since I started on the bipolar meds. My mood still has swings, but they aren't going as far up or down. It's nice. I feel more confident, less anxious, more ready to face each day. I'm just having a slump the past few days for whatever reason. Still not as low as I used to go...but not exactly happy either. I can't wait to get my art stuff!! I've really gotten into it lately. I know I don't do anything amazing...but I still really find it fun, and lately it's all I want to do. Lol which isn't so good for my hw but good for my soul...for my spirit. Without the devotion I poured into my scribbles last week, I might seriously be dead right now. I know how scarily close I was to giving up. I had given up on life, decided I was going to die soon and had no future...no hope. But now...I feel a bit of hope again. Not much...but just enough to keep me fighting till I find strength again.